A ghost could be humping you right now and you would never know
(Source: godsquito, via bringmethefetus)
One time when I was 7 i went to this big department store and there was giant rugs hanging from the celling and you could move them to see more rugs, so i moved one and there was an employee sitting behind it eating a bag of Doritos and I screamed and started crying and the store gave us a free rug
i got fired because of you
(via mydickdoesallmythinking)
one time in 5th grade it was some asian kid’s birthday and when we sang happy birthday to him, half of the class sang “ching chang wong” instead of cha cha cha and we all had to write apology notes
